She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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