cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
