I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I think i got beer on your cat.
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