im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
