Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
