dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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