Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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