Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
