i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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