So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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