She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
