Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
