i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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