College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
