I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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