You can't motorboat a personality
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
