His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize