I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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