You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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