he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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