neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
