And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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