We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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