South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
do herpes really smell.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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