when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
