drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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