You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
