College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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