well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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