giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
