It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
