Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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