just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
