I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
