butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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