well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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