So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
