Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
