This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
