dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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