just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
