need another drink. this is the easiest way
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
