Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
