It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
