Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
