I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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