Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
