i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
