Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
