walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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