I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
