i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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