My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
