I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
