who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
