no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
