i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
