shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
