you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
