Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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