sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
