So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Actions speak louder than pants.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
