Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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