Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
