theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
