so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
