Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
