oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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