i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
