I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
