Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
