I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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