Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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