Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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