i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
