she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
