Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
