just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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