No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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