what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
