census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
