Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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