she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
