I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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